Extracts from Will' Terran's Diary:
The Worst Feeling
I'm sat outside the set, having my billionth cigarette and thinking - I don't want to be here.
I want to run away. I can't do this now.
Strange how being so close to exactly what you want can make you want to be anywhere else.
The people, the place, I want to be rid of it all. But that's not how it's done is it?
So back in I go. F**k anger. Let's shoot the scene.
Last Day - plenty of time for things to go wrong:
Okay, nightmare No.1. It's the climax to the film, out most famous actor is here waiting for it to
start, the scene revolves around a gun... and I've just been informed we have no gun now.
Perfect. I'm a twenty-something in Britain, post 9/11 and trying to acquire a shotgun in about an hour. Yeah, that's going to happen.
Tried befriending the local farmer, who would love to help if it wasn't the middle of harvest.
Cutting it fine, here's the definition: I'm driving to the cottage 20 minutes ahead of the entire crew and actors. The plan: to find the local (supposed) gun shop and convince them to let me borrow a shotgun.
Snag - no idea where supposed gun shop is. So I ring Nick, the owner of the cottage to see if he knows where the gun shop is:
NICK: What sort of gun are you after?
ME: A double-barrelled shotgun really.
NICK: Oh, well I've got one of those you can use.
And... Exhale!
Savings:
Accepted the fact that this is and shall always be a micro budget movie - completely independent and potentially crippling to personal finances. Hence, also accepted the fact that crew members must be kept very low. As a result of course, countless jobs are at the hands of individual persons. Been shooting for nearly a couple of weeks and feel like my nerves have gone. Got this slight nausea, aching limbs and my brain feels like it's wrapped in cling-film. Focus is hard to maintain.
Have been surviving on power-naps at night and caffeine. Am pretty sure this is unhealthy living. Don't like falling asleep at night because I'm finding it impossible to wake up again. Only on one occasion have I slept nearby - in the greenroom with Stewart and James. Have been late to set which is terrible.
Nine times out of ten, traffic on the bloody M25 lets me down. The Journey has taken me three hours at worst so far. Hate it. I know I'm bad and wrong when I'm late, and seeing faces almost glaring when I arrive is horrible. Then have to try and perk people up and get them into the mood.
One or two occasions I'm sure I lose the ability to form coherent sentences. Is this nervous breakdown time, or madness creeping in? No. It's film making.
Has to be said though - despite my need to complain on paper - this is absolutely fantastic.
Bad Feet:
Upon removing my boots for the first time in two days, I've discovered much to my dismay that the soles have gone mouldy!
My bloody feet have been festering in sweat and rot. How could I have not noticed this sooner?
This is not the time for footwear shopping, so I'm going to have to wear my smart shoes for the rest of the shoot.
Doesn't do wonders for personal confidence when you look like a twat.
Working Late:
Just had our latest night so far - 11:30pm, which I don't consider late at all. Had tried to schedule for reasonable start and finish times each day. However, having got a couple of scenes behind schedule, was determined to keep people behind to get back on track, and shit! The reaction I got from Mr.X was awful. He phoned his wife then said to me ‘she thinks you're a twat as well.’ Subsequently, I got mad and hammered everyone through the scenes rather aggressively. Can't allow myself to have a go at these people though - too much trouble that we can't afford.
My annoyance showed. Later he apologised. Was too pissed off to talk to him properly though.
Checks:
Have braved the inevitable and looked at some raw footage. Thank f**k! It seems that taking risks and running with unusual angles etc. has paid off.
There's some great framing and perspective going on - especially since we only have one lens.
Loads of these shots make great stills. Just hope it all works in real-time after post.
A Most Prominent Moment:
Stewart is bloody fantastic. Shooting the moment where Matthew screams ‘I want my mind back!’ and collapses into tears was both awe-inspiring and horrible. Stew pulls it off with such integrity that I hate myself for making him do it.
Will never forget his face in the bathroom just before action. He was already looking on the brink of tears and ready to crack.
Then for direction, I told him he was pathetic, amounted to nothing, had nothing, and could disappear tomorrow and nobody would notice. Man I feel like such a bastard at times.
He pulled off a superb piece of work though. I decided to sit the camera on him and let the audience get sucked into his performance rather than hacking between various levels of zoom and angle changes. This is Stewart O'Reilly ladies and gentlemen - take that!
When Things Work:
This was probably my favourite day of all - the one day with Joe and Raquel together. I didn't think it would be...
Raquel got another job and so this was the only day she was allowed, which meant getting Joe along very last minute - which fortunately wasn't a problem. But then had to get Llewi as well - who was on holiday in Cornwall at the time! My stomach turned and I thought all was lost, until I spoke to his mother who said it was fine - they'd travel to Suffolk (mid-holiday!) for that day's shoot. I love these people to bits and always will! Nothing is as good as realising there are others who care as much about the project as you. So...
Had everyone at my parents house on a beautiful day to shoot 3 key scenes. Mum and Dad were awesome - helped out and catered for us all - and everyone seemed on really good form.
It was great watching Joe and Raquel work opposite each other. They're two very different types of actor, and play off each other brilliantly on screen. Fascinating to watch. Raquel was a little worried about the whole bottle and blood thing but it's glorious!
Top day.
Everyone happy.
Nice.